Game Day News

Stirling "Beast of a Beard" Haggis (sorry, mate, I forgot your real nickname) has had to withdraw from tonight's season-opening game with a corked left brain. Too much study, Stirlo.

The late injury has opened the door for Torb "Little Dabber" Haggis to make his impression on the side. Will he live up to the pressure? Surely only time will tell.